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Profile Shannon Agofsky
Greetings
to you all! My name is Shannon Agofsky, and I am a federal prisoner,
currently on death row in Terre Haute, (Please
keep in mind, this will be a very abbreviated account of my
situation. For whomever chooses to contact me, I can explain more fully
at a later date, if that is your desire. At the moment, in the interest
of brevity, this will have to suffice.) Let
me begin by saying I am not on death row for any crime committed before
I came to prison, as is the usual case. The odessy which brought me to
my current state began long before, in another place. Sometimes it feels
almost as if it began another lifetime. So to fully explain, I must go
back a good many years. Please bear with me. I
grew up in a small Midwestern town, with a population of about 1,200
people, in the state of My
main interest growing up was studying martial arts. Fighting is both
vocation and avocation to me. I began training at age 9, started
competing in tournaments almost instantly, and eventually I both fought
professionally and taught in a variety of martial arts schools. The
things I have learned in the course of my studies permeate all aspects
of my life, and I always assumed that all my days would be devoted to
the arts. In
1989, when I was 18 years old and not long of high school, the local
bank in the town where I lived was robbed. The bank’s president was
abducted from his home in the middle of the night, apparently forced to
open the bank so the money could be taken, and afterward, he was tied
up, then dumped into the lake to drown. Nothing
of that sort had ever happened before occurred in the small town, so it
created much more of a stir than such a would in a large city,
where robbery and murder are common place. This placed a great deal of
pressure upon the FBI and local authorities to solve the case. After
lengthy investigation and after several other suspects had been
arrested, then later released, I was charged and convicted. I received 2
life sentences; 1 for armed bank robbery, and 1 for murder. I
committed neither of the crimes. I did not rob the bank nor did I murder
the bank president. I was not involved in any way, and I do not know who
actually was. Yet I am not going to attempt to convince you this is
true, for two reasons. First
of all, the case was incredibly complicated. It involves three separate
trials (one of which alone lasted 4 months), spread out over a five and
half year period, with documents numbering in the hundreds of thousands.
It would take an entire book to explain all the evidence to you, which I
have neither time nor space for. The
second reason is that I no longer feel a need to explain, except to my
friends. When I was initially convicted, I felt an almost pathological
need to explain to all and sundry that I was innocent, and to do in
great detail. I have since found that to be pointless. The vast majority
of people in the world simply do not care. It matters no one whit to
them who is in prison, whether or not those individuals are guilty, and
they are annoyed when forced to hear of the situation. Of those who do
have an interest in my case, the ones who believe my innocence do so
based upon knowledge of my character, not upon explanations, while those
who believe in my guilt will continue to do so regardless of the
efficacy of any explanation. So
now, I just say it flat out, “I am innocent of those charges”, and
let it go at that. It is your prerogative to belief or not, as you
choose. If you believe, then I thank you. If not, I will not blame you.
I have become used to disbelief. But for you skeptics, if you would take
the time to get to me, I suspect you would change your mind. Anyway,
as you may or may not know, coming to prison right off with a life
sentence is not really the usual course of events. For the majority of
those who find themselves in maximum security prisons, with life
sentences, they have come from a background of continually escalating
criminality. They got in trouble young, experiencing juvenile and lower
security facilities to begin with. Then, eventually, through the course
of multiple prison sentences over a period of years, they end up serving
a life term. By that time, they have become “con wise”; that is,
they know all the unwritten rules of prison society, what to expect,
what is expected of them in turn, and how to avoid problems. Such
was not the case with me. I came to prison right at the start with
multiple life sentences, and was immediately placed in a maximum
security prison, with absolutely no idea how to act. This lack of
knowledge made things very hard for me, to say the least. I had to learn
my way by trial and error, in an extremely unforgiving environment, with
my only survival skill being my ability in martial arts. And were it not
for those abilities, I would have perished. Over
the years, as I tried to learn how to function in prison, at various
different times, I have been punched, kicked, stomped, hit with pipes,
mop wringers, and padlocks in socks, stabbed with home-made knives, cut
with razor blades, had boiling water throw on me, and more. Any and
every form of violence that can be brought against a person has been
tried against me. Yet I’ve never run away, never requested to be in
protective custody, never backed up or backed down, regardless of the
danger. I have refused to become a victim; never allowed myself to be
robbed, raped, or taken advantage of in any other way, and I am damn
proud of that fact. Unfortunately,
because of all this, I have become somewhat less than friendly. In point
of fact, I have become suspicious and cynical towards everyone and
everything, and harder than I really care to admit (the constant state
of wariness, which borders on outright paranoia, which I have had to
maintain in order to stay safe, and the constant uncertainty of where
danger may come from next, created in the feeling that I was behind
enemy lines. Soldiers crack under those conditions, even with their
fellow soldiers for back-up, with air support, med-evacs, time of for
R&R, and certain knowledge of when their tour ends. I have no
back-up or support of any kind, no place of safety, and no end to my
tour except by death. Is it any wonder I have turned hard and
suspicious?) but that is simply a consequence of what I have had to do
to survive in a place where I was never supposed to be in the first
place, so I do mot apologize for who I am now. Be
that as it may; one of the results of being in trouble in prison is
often that you are transferred to a different prison. Since the Federal
prison system has facilities throughout the During
this process of being bounced from prison to prison, I found myself in At
one point, after having already been involved in several violent
incidents, I was placed in a “rec. cage” (A small enclosure of
concrete and chain link fencing, similar to places where dogs are kept
in a kennel.) with 4 other men. While licked in, with no place to go, I
was attacked. After all was said and done, I was charged with 2 counts
of murder, convicted of both, and in 2004, given 2 sentences of death. Once
again, I do not intend to go deeply into details, although I am open to
doing so at a later date. But there are a few facts I would like to give
you: Multiple witnesses observed that I did not start the fight, but was
attacked first. I used no weapons; no one disputes that I defended
myself only with hands and feet. By all accounts, both inmate and prison
guard, the entire fight lasted only 10 seconds, with me walking away
without the guards having to interfere or force me to stop. (As is often
the case with prison violence.) I
would prefer to be able to say that this case, which put me on death
row, is exactly like my initial charges of bank robbing and murder; that
I was 100% innocent. But if I told you that, it would be a lie. I have
become what I never believed I would, a killer. It is not something I
chose, not something I wanted, and certainly not something I am proud
of. But it did happen and I cannot change that. Even
so, I am still not a murderer. I only acted in self defense, doing what
I had to do in order to survive in prison. Had I not done so, I could
have been injured or killed myself, which is simply unacceptable.
Because of the circumstances, I do not apologize for what happened.
Don’t get me wrong; I wish
it had not. I feel bad for
those who care about the men I killed, because they did nothing to
deserve the pain of their loss. Yet at the same time, I cannot and will
not be sorry for doing whatever is necessary to ensure my own safety. Perhaps
that makes me a bad person. That is hard for me to judge in an unbiased
manner, both because my own involvement, and the fact that my time in
prison has somewhat skewed my sense of right and wrong. All I can say in
my own defense is that I do not feel as if I am a bad guy. Beyond
that, you will just have to decide for yourself. Now
that I have told you a bit of how I came to be on death row, I will give
you some personal information about myself, and what I do to occupy my
time here, so that you may come to know me better. As
you can probably guess, because of my background in martial arts,
physical fitness has always been a large component of my life. It
continues to be so to this day. Many people (most, actually) who have
death sentences seem to lose all interest in taking care of themselves
or staying in shape, but for myself, there is no situation in which I
can be placed where fitness will not be a priority. It is simply a
matter of self discipline. I am up every morning at At
the same time, I do not ever let my life come to revolve solely around
the physical. Not for one second have I ever accepted that commonplace
stereotypical thinking that a person can be an athlete, but of limited
intellectual capacity, or an intellectual,
or an intellectual, but of limited athletic capability. Physical and
mental excellence are in no way mutually exclusive! The
martial art which I studied stressed that one should try to become a
fully rounded individual, to develop oneself in all areas, physical,
mental, and spiritual, so as to be the best one can possibly be. Most
ancient warrior cultures, regardless of what part of the world in which
they originated, believed in the same manner. From the Greeks of
Socrates day to the Roman of Plutarchs, from the Irishmen in the time of
Brian Boru to the Viking raiders who sailed the seas with likes of Egil
Skallagrimson, all of those men held in highest esteem those who not
only excelled in the warrior arts, but were scholars, statesmen,
philosophers, and poets as well. So,
I try as best as I may to fit myself to that ideal of old, to make
myself the best I may be. I study any material that comes available to
me, although ancient history, philosophy, psychology, and classic
literature are my favorite subjects. I write
a great deal, articles on subjects such as Leonidas and the
Battle Thermopylae, Alexander the Great, and the Arthurian legends,
philosophical pieces on crime, the criminal justice system and prison,
short stories of many genres (from crime fiction to fantasy to horror to
westerns) and a good bit of poetry. The
writing on so many different subjects make me feel as if I am keeping my
mind flexible, and I draw genuine pleasure from it as well. Study of any
real depth is very hard here, because of limited resources, but I do
what I can. I make no claims at being a true intellectual, but my
intentions are good! I
also meditate a good deal. When the prison surroundings begin to get me
down, when the guards try my temper with their antics, or other inmates
fray my nerves with disrespect and noise, I simply sit down, close my eyes, and make it all go away. Meditation is
a very effective tool for coping, and it helps to keep me from turning
to the television. I view the TV as merely a form of electronic
pacification. Far too many people in prison allow themselves to
become totally absorbed in the “idiot box”, watching 10, 12, 14
hours, or even more, per day, to the detriment of all else. That is
total nonsense, to neglect yourself, or even neglect the filing of legal
documents that may effect a release from prison, merely to watch a soap
opera or a football game! Yet I have seen it happen on many occasions.
Never will I allow myself to become one of those people. Between
the workouts, writing, studying, and meditation, I manage to keep myself
occupied and relatively happy. But one thing is lacking my life, and
that it contact with people outside of prison. I have had enough of
those subjects to last me for 10 lifetimes! So I often wish I could
speak to those who know nothing of those subjects, and whose existence
do not revolve around them. So, if you would care to write me, your letter will considerably enrich my days. At the same time you will find I am an interesting conversationalist with knowledge of a wide range of subjects, a staunch friend in all circumstances, and that you will gain far more from our relationship than you ever expected.
Address: Shannon Agofsky #06267-045 Please visit Shannon's writings page or “Judge not, Lest ye be judged”
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