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Interviews
with the Condemned
Interview no.25 (2007-10-30)
Welcome back to the next interview for our Interview with the Condemned series. The next interview was contributed by Michael Lambrix, a Florida death row prisoner. We kindly thank Michael for his participation!
Personality: Name:
Michael Lambrix
1: Question: Where were you born and raised? Answer:
2: Question: Will you share with us what it was like for you growing up? (Did you have a pet, a favorite game, hiding place, or favorite toy? Were you raised by both parents, a single parent or relative?) Answer: I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area during the
1960’s and early 1970’s when the hippie movement was in full swing
in the area, it was a unique experience. I have a large family (or
should I say had) and loved the outdoors as we went camping a lot. I
miss the mountains, lakes and ocean.
3: Question: Do you have a favorite childhood memory? If so, what is it? Answer: A
favorite childhood memory? Yes – spending the entire summer of 1974
(when I was 14) at
4: Question: Did you like school? If so, share with us your favorite memory from your school years. Answer: We moved a lot when I was growing up so it seemed we
were always going to a new school where we didn’t fit in. So, no – I
didn’t like school that much and dropped out and left home when I was
15. My real school came working carnivals and fairs from age 15, out on
my own… school of hard knocks.
5: Question: What person or event impacted you most as a child? Answer: Patty Hearst – When I was a young boy scout in
California we distributed the food to people which they demanded as
ransom for her kidnapping, only to find out she was part of the gang
herself. That was a real awakening! Even poor little rich girls can be
gangsters and nobody wants to believe it until they cannot deny it.
6: Question: What hobbies or activities did you participate in while growing up, e.g. scouting, sports, etc. Answer: Boy scouts, and altar boy from the Catholic Church. I
played some sports in school (American football, Softball, etc.) but
never got into it. But I loved the scouts as we did a lot of camping and
I love the outdoors.
7: Question: What was your first job? Please describe your duties/responsibilities and whether or not you liked the job. Answer: My
first real, full time job was working game concessions with a carnival
at county / state fairs through out much of
8: Question: As a child or teenager, what did you want to do when you grew up? Why? Answer: What did I want to be when I grew up? Peter Pan! Who
wants to grow up? Being an adult totally sucks! Really, I did not have
any specific dream of what I wanted to be when I grew up – but I knew
what I didn’t want to be stuck in the prison of a destructive family
environment like the dysfunctional “family” I grew up with.
9: Question: Do you have a favorite movie or book? Please elaborate. Answer: My favorite movie – actually, there’s many. But if I had to choose just one I think I’d say “Dead Poets Society” with Robin Williams. It’s all about learning to live fully, suck the marrow out of life. As for a book, how about “The Last Testament” (fiction) by Man Gold – what if Jesus had written his own testament? It boggles the mind. Quality entertainment is about making us think about the “what if?.”
10: Question: Where was the most beautiful or special place that you can remember having visited? Please describe it. Answer:
11: Question: What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you? Answer: I was born – what a joke! (Yet nobody’s laughing!)
12: Question: What job or occupation did you have prior to your incarceration? Were you employed at the time of your arrest? Answer: I was a
mechanic just before my arrest. I also did some time in the army before
having an accident and before that I worked with a traveling carnival
working county and state fairs throughout a lot of
13: Question: Were you involved with drugs or alcohol prior to your incarceration? If so, please share the effects this had on your life. Answer: Yes, I used too many soft drugs (not hard drugs) and
drinking – and it had sever consequences. I cannot say drinking
destroyed my life, as they didn’t – I did. I choose to do that
stuff. And I suffered the consequences of that bad judgement as through
that it destroyed my marriage and led me to death row.
14: Question: What do you miss most about the outside world and why? Answer: What is an “outside” world? I’ve been here 24
years – is there really something left beyond these cold walls? What I
miss most is obvious – freedom. But what I’ve learned trough the
years is that freedom is a state of mind. Although I miss outside
freedom, I’ve adapted and it no longer imprisons me with thought of
what I miss. After an entire life-time in a solitary cage condemned to
death, freedom can be a scary thing.
15: Question: What is the one thing you regret most? Answer: Not being able to be there when my 3 children were growing up. Missing all the little things that come with being a parent. When I got locked up my children were still very young so they didn’t really know me and got along without me. But not a day went by that I didn’t wish I could be there with them. Now I have two grandchildren, who I am also denied any opportunity to know and be a part of their lives.
16: Question: Do you have any strong spiritual or religious beliefs? If so do they influence how you view the future? Answer: Yes, I do. Although I grown disgusted by contemporary
organized religion, I remain spiritual with strong traditional Christian
beliefs. I belief that our physical life is the mortal condemnation of
an eternal soul and in physical death we overcome that condemnation and
will exist spiritually. I’m still undecided as whether heaven and hell
is real or only metaphorical. I guess I’ll know when I get to heaven,
as I’m already in hell.
17: Question: How important is it for you to have contact with your family, friends and/or the outside world? Please elaborate. Answer: Nothing is more important then the contact and communication with family and friends. In that brief time when writing letters or share a visit, I am allowed to escape the reality of the hell I’m condemned to and share their world with them. Without that contact / communication I would not have had the strength to survive – they keep me sane and are the ground that I stand upon.
18: Question: Do you remember your first thoughts when hearing the jury’s verdict of death as your sentence? Will you share this experience with us, e.g. your thoughts, feelings, reactions? Answer: I was stunned when the jury found me guilty, especially after my first trial ended in a hung jury. I was innocent and I know I did not commit this crime. The jury’s verdict of guilt was a shock – but after that, I was not at all surprised by the jury’s recommendation that I be sentenced to death. And I didn’t care. At that point, I wanted to die – I didn’t know I would die by being condemned to rotting away in solitary confinement one slow day at a time for my entire adult life – 24 years and the nightmare continues.
19: Question: What is a typical day like for you on death row? Answer: Structured monotony. Wake up. Eat garbage unfit for a mangy dog. Walk (pace) my floor hours until what they call lunch. Spend afternoon’s writing letters or reading, hoping I might get some mail, especially from my kids. Then survive dinner and watch TV and before you know it the day is gone and I sleep the wake to start it all over again.
20: Question: Do you feel that capital punishment serves as a deterrent? Yes/No Please elaborate on your answer. Answer: A few years ago we had a guard working death row – until he killed his girlfriend. Not long after that a gang of guards beat a death row inmate to death and were charged with murder. Several death row prisoners previously worked as death row runners before they were charged and condemned to death for killing another prisoner. No, capital punishment is not a deterrent – if anything, it promotes killing by encouraging people to eliminate any potential witnesses.
21: Question: If you could change one thing in the world today, what would it be and why? Answer: If I could change anything it would be to eliminate hate from the hearts of all people. Can you imagine a world without malice or vengeance? Maybe miraculously infect the entire planet with a virus that escalates only a feeling of love and compassion so that all of humanity would feel only empathy and compassion for each other. Hate is the destruction of humanity and its plague is growing.
22: Question: If you could go back in time, where and to what date would you travel and why? Answer: March 29, 1981- My 21st birthday. Anything further then that and my kids would not be conceived. No matter what I might have the power to change, I would not change that. Equally so, at that time I had no criminal record and could relive my life responsibly, avoiding my mistakes as a more responsible person – and be there for my children, even though as a divorced father (sorry – I’d rather keep the divorce!).
23: Question: What has been the most important and life-altering event you have experienced? Answer: Death Watch, November 1988, when I came within hours of
being executed twice within a few days. In that time, I felt communion
with God and a peace I never experienced before or since. Confronting my
own mortality believing I would die was a unique growth experience and
life-altering event.
24: Question: What is the most important thing that you want our visitors to know about you? Answer: I am actually innocent. I know that “everybody” says that, but too often it is actually true! Please don’t judge me until you’ve read about my case, which is readily available online at: www.southerninjustice.com
25: Question: If you have anything else that you would like included as a part of this interview, please share it with us now. Answer: I would like to thank all of those who so generously help us, who give so much of themselves and do so out of genuine compassion. Without those who are willing to advocate for the lowest of the lows, our already pathetic existence would become truly unbearable. Knowing that there are people who do care gives all of us hope and strength, so I want to thank all of us.
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