Where is the responsibility?

 

Column by Eileene LeBaron

January 03, 2006

I hear both sides of the argument for and against the death penalty all the time. I hear "what about the victims?" I hear that the criminals must pay. I even hear that we must put more value on the lives of the dead and of the victims over those of the criminals.

 
But the one thing we Americans seem to overlook is the fact that we as a society are creating these criminals. We are responsible for aiding and abetting. We are part of the problem, and not of the solution at this point. And as long as we continue to be ignorant of our responsibility in this, we are also to blame.
 
What am I talking about? The American family. Where is it? What is it?
 
It is not like people are born criminals. Oh I'm sure that there are a few that are born with mental and social problems so intense that they can never be integrated into our society. But the majority of our criminals were brought into this world by people who had no clue or inclination towards being parents. They were brought up neglected, abused, and on their own in our society.
 
Children are growing up without fathers...and often without mothers. They are growing up with parents who are more concerned about getting their next hit. They are growing up abused by the very people who they are supposed to learn about trust and healthy relationships. They are growing up without guidance, love, support, and often without the very essentials of basic living.
 
Where do our kids turn?
 
They turn to wherever they can. And often that is to gangs or to the streets. Human beings need a sense of belonging...a sense of security. So often our children acquire mental and social illnesses due to neglect and abuse. The young mind is forced to adapt to painful and scary situations. Instead of being taught to trust and being raised in a place of safety and security, our children are being taught to distrust and to attach in unhealthy ways with other human beings.
 
Where is the family?
 
We Americans are creating the very criminals that we then turn around and condemn through the death penalty. But where is our responsibility in all of this? How is this fair to them...to society as a whole?
 
Of course the death penalty isn't diverting anyone from committing crimes. That is not the answer. We all need to step back and see the big picture. Don't just come into the picture at the point where a person in our society commits a crime. Go back even further, to their childhood.
 
How can we prevent our children from going down the wrong path? How can we prevent people from literally destroying young lives who will in turn destroy the lives of others? What can we do as a society to pave a way for these abused and neglected children to have a real future? The answer to these questions will lead us to diverting people from committing crimes. The answers to these questions will help us to create healthy productive citizens.
 
It starts with the family. We must be there for our children. We must remove children from homes where the parents are not available. We must redirect the very lives of our children because if we do not, they will seek out what they need from whatever source they can find. And they will learn survival skills. Survival skills are not about living....but about existing at any cost.
 
We must also totally reevaluate the prison systems that we throw our abused and neglected children, now criminals, into. Glorified street gangs in a box. That is what prison is. Here they further learn how to survive amongst the worst of chances. Here they battle neglect and abuse and mental illness.
 
We need to have a system in place that encourages upliftment and redirection. We must not use the system as a place for revenge. We need to move forward in a positive way. Revenge serves no one. And it certainly only exasperates the already existing problems that started this criminal cycle in the first place. It isn't working. And when something doesn't work, we need to stop and change directions.
 
Finally, as long as we judge that certain lives have more value than others, we will continue to fight these issues. Every human life is invaluable. Every human life has worth. We must fight from the beginning to the end to uplift the value of life. If we valued the lives of victims, we would honor them by placing renewed value on the lives of our children. We would seek to enhance each child's future regardless of race, creed, or financial status. We would take on each our own personal responsibility. We would each look within and ask ourselves what it is that we can be doing to contribute towards a solution. We would be working towards raising and nurturing healthy children in our society. We would no longer turn a deaf ear to the realities of our family structure, only to pay attention once it is too late and everyone becomes a victim of our own neglect.
 
What part will you play?
 
 

Eileene LeBaron

 

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