|
Navigate by clicking the links below.
-Tuesday, January 1, 2002
Well
I stayed up late last night as did most people I suppose. I ended up
drinking hot chocolate and coffee like it was 80 proof shots, one up
after another and of course, I watched the celebrations on television,
confetti littered skylines and blatantly commercial pop acts pandering
to hordes of young dancing people whose smile reveal perfectly white and
straight rows of teeth framed by flushed faces sitting atop gyrating
bodies properly shown off with sleeveless T-shirts and bare midriffs in
freezing cold weather. It looked fun, that's depressing. As
the ball dropped, shown at every imaginable angle on station after
station, the guys in here yelled back and forth at each other and banged
on the doors. It was quite a racket but not really when compared to the
noise of a good football game. I
guess the New Year doesn't hold that much sway with us. It is one more
day closer to the oblivion that awaits at the end of this journey.
However, I did take time to think to myself that each new day as it
unfolds for 2002 starts with almost infinite unrealised potential that I
can use to do with whatever I wish. Of course, I am limited as far as my
grasp goes but I intend to work with what I have and make the best of
it.
Well
it's sunny outside and the sky is a picturesque blue, flawless and
stretching out and over this place completely indifferent to the chaos
of the world beneath. I don't like it, it's too pretty, too glossy like
a Brady Bunch re-run, out of place. I wish it would rain and storm and
act appropriate, reflecting my mood. I
haven't been able to talk to my Mother this week as I ran out of phone
minutes and won't call 'til next Sunday but I am wondering if they're
getting a lot of snow as it said on the news that Texas, Mississippi and
Tennessee are all getting snow. My
parents are in Mississippi. I was raised in Arkansas because the economy
of Mississippi was so bad my parents fled to greener pastures when I was
about four. Greener pastures in Arkansas, what a joke. After I was
arrested my whole family were ostracized and harassed ruthlessly by the
community. So they ran back to Mississippi where, despite the still weak
economy, my family has deep roots. My parents have always been broke so
I guess they figured the only difference would be in Mississippi they'd
be broke surrounded by family which is better than alone and broke. Woke
up early for shower call and didn't go back to bed because when I got in
the shower there was gunk all over the bottom of the stall. So much that
my shower shoes were sticking to the floor and I am not even going to
try and guess what it was I was standing in but whatever it was it was
enough to get me good and pissed off because we have guys who are
supposed to clean the damn showers on a regular basis and who get extra
privileges to do this but obviously aren't to into the whole work ethic
thing and I just think if you sign up to do something you should do it
as there are other guys who really want to go to phase two who would do
the job of an orderly the way it's supposed to be done. So that had me
steaming and wide awake. David
got word about his appeal on the incident report he filed. The warden
asked the unit administration to review the guilty verdict over again
which is good news but probably won't amount to anything. It's the point
though. We
usually turn in our commissary lists on Wednesday and get our order on
Thursday but this week they ran the store call a day late and oddly
enough at the crack of dawn this morning they were outside our cells
passing out the bags. It was totally dark out on the tier and the store
guys all had flashlights shining everywhere so I tried to turn on my
light but the power was out which was strange so I asked the store guy
and he said it was a power check. Didn't say why they did the check so
early as they usually do those in the afternoon so it's a mystery to me
but I do think it makes more sense to do them early while everyone is
asleep than in the middle of the day when it's disruptive so I hope they
make it a habit. Probably won't though if the past is any indication as
these people tend to shy away from anything that makes perfect sense. The
warden also came by this morning to do his rounds. Since he's been here
I would say he has made a point of coming through and checking on things
at least once a week which is pretty good as far as the whole warden
thing goes. Yesterday
in my entry I forgot to mention that we had an order of art supplies
come in which was badly needed but it was a little bittersweet as after
waiting an excruciatingly long time, since November, when the order
finally arrived it was only half of what had been selected. That sucked.
And it's some important paint that's missing so there is no getting
around that. I will have to get creative. It's
all a big hassle really. You can't have art supplies sent in to you. You
have to beg for money orders, then beg the staff here to let you see the
factory catalogue of which there is only one copy for the entire unit,
then you have to beg for a special purchase order form which can take
forever to get a hold of, then you have to fill it out trying to
anticipate what they'll be out of as they're always out of something,
then you have to turn it in to the unit counsellor and beg him to get on
it or it could sit on his desk for weeks on top of the weeks it takes to
fill the order and after all that begging and awaiting you just feel
like throwing something at the wall which, thinking about it, I might
just do that right now. Got
up early this morning and it was freezing. It was snowing outside and
even with my heater on I could see my breath so still half asleep I
ended up spending a half hour shoving towels around my windows and let
me tell you, that's not as easy as it sounds. You have to get them all
in just right or they'll fall out and tucked in securely or as my Father
would say, you're pissing in the wind. I did eventually get it done up
right but it didn't help much. I'm not complaining though as this is
better than the summer. At least now I can layer up on clothes and get
warm. Nothing you can do when you're burning up. Well,
David Hammer was the lead story on the news tonight. I think everyone
probably knows about the Christmas cards that were sold featuring his
artwork. Today, in a nice ceremony, Sister Camille D'Arienzo presented a
check to a school for abused and at risk children on David's behalf. She
read a letter David wrote and passed out copies of the cards to the
children in attendance and it all made for a nice scene. The check was only for $2,000 but I think every little bit helps. Even some of the guards came around to congratulate David on this and I think everyone here is proud.
They passed out some sheets today. Memos slipped quietly under doors in the dead of night i suppose as at breakfast I almost slipped on mine so it must've been there before 7 o'clock. I understand why they did it that way. The memo was a statement really, and a statement of the worst sort. Informing all concerned, that would be us, that as of March 1st the commissary is instituting a general mark up of 5% on all items and as much as 15% on selected items. This will also effect phone calls. One collect 10 minute call will be $6.95 and international calls will be 99¢ a minute. Local and long distance are also effected. They did point out that the mark up was the first in twenty years which I find hard to believe as a candy bar costs 85¢ or so right now and I believe they were much cheaper in 1982. They also pointed out that the spending limit balance was increased to off set a potential loss in purchasing power however they failed to mention whether or not the $18 a month you make for rolling spoons would be increased to reflect the same. I would like to believe that is just a clerical oversight but for some reason I think not.
I found out today that as of June 30 can't know for sure as the info is second hand, the postage rates are going up again. I think it's because the post have to pay for all that new equipment they'll be using from now on for security measures and don't want to pay it out of their own pockets so the natural think to do is dip in ours I guess. It seems like every time I turn around something is costing more and as prices go up I like everyone, end up scrambling mentally trying to figure out where the extra is going to come from. It's all a big pain in the ass. Still, the postage thing doesn't bother me too much even though it will definitely effect me as I think the U.S. has about the best postal system around factoring out the latest debacle which isn't their fault and I write to several people overseas so I think I know enough to make a valid comparison. And the weather is crazy right now. It's cold as a penguins ass but on the news they're saying it's going to get up to 55° in the afternoon. That's practically T-shirt and shorts weather and it's January. Hopefully that means we're going to have freezing temperatures in July so we don't have to suffer through another heat wave. That'd be fair.
Went to our annual unit team review meeting today which is a lot to do about nothing. But you have to go or else. Or else what is a hazy idea in the back of my mind and since I never asked what 'else' is I can only imagine it involves an angry snitch note to my Mom telling all about my continued anti social behaviour. Who knows. I was informed that I still have some fines to pay and that the payments are going to continue to be taken off my account until it's all paid for. How's that for low, the court gives you a death penalty and then charges you to process the paperwork. Ever hear that country song that goes 'they're killing me, for killing me', tell me about it. And, David Hammer has decided he is going to start a new website called LWOP, which stands for 'Life Without Parole'. The goal being to acquire 1,000,000 letters requesting a commutation of sentence for him. He's guilty but has said over and over how sorry he is and continues to use his mind to help others so I really hope it works out for him.
They screwed me out of my shower this morning for some reason. I woke up and found a towel on my floor and when I looked at my clock I realised this was a bad sign as far as the shower goes so I started making noise until the guard came to my cell. He told me that I had refused shower call and just said bring me a clean towel. I don't believe this one bit as I got up for breakfast and remember it clearly so think I would remember having a conversation with an officer at an even later hour. I made my case but the jury was fixed as is so often the case when both judge and jury wear the same uniform so no shower for me. I ended up taking a birdbath in my sink and using the towel to mop up all the water I got onto the floor. I take these birdbaths often on top of taking a shower especially in the summer time as it always seems hard to stay clean in here. When I was free, I was a tub person. I don't think you get a membership card for this but tub people are a different breed a breed whose membership is typified by hours of reading in the tub, placement of televisions and radios in the bath room area as well as compulsive cleaning of the bath tub at odd hours. I really miss just soaking in a tub. Showers just aren't the same.
The star is gone. For weeks now we have enjoyed being able to look out the window and spy a brilliant star of Christmas lights affixed to the water tower across the prison grounds and now it's gone. There is something symbolic there I guess as it is a new year and there is a metamorphosis of sorts, like sloughing off old skin the new cannot be denied and all that that implies. I will miss the star for what it's worth. I think our local Taliban are officially gone as of some hazy date I don't yet know. David noticed coming back form the law library that the doors to the disciplinary segregation section were all the way opened and looking in there was no sign of the video camera or even name tags that they put on the doors of occupied cells without exception so the verdict is in and they are gone and though we have been speculating where they could've been taken we can't be sure. I for one, think they probably shoved them in a hole under the prison custom made for size but David says they're at ADX Colorado. I don't really care truthfully. These guys test the boundaries of my carefully altivated benevolence.
The guards came by at about noon to ask if we wanted to sign up for church services so I did as usual and soon I was down in the work area that had been turned into an impromptu chapel. In attendance were myself and one of the Colombians, Ortiz, for a total of two parishioners down one from the normal three. As usual I had to do all the reading because Ortiz definitely does not habla English. I have to give the catholic priest Father Roof a big nod. If I were him, I would be sorely disappointed by the reception he receives in this unit. People rarely talk to him when he comes through doing rounds. No one shows up for his services except for a couple of guys who don't understand a word of anything unless we're singing Pan de Vida and me who tends to day dream through half of it and who is a wellspring of facts that only barely have anything to do with what's being said that I offer up compulsively and without fail right in the middle of his making a point. And yet he still keeps coming. That's admirable. 90% of life is trying and Father Roof, if nothing else, has tried and tried and i suspect will keep trying.
David was down in the law library yesterday and saw in a legal register that comes out twice a month that we have someone on the way here as I write. He was sentenced to death a few years ago but the trial judge reversed that sentence and issued him a new sentencing hearing. The government attorneys appealed that decision and the case went to the 8th circuit appellate court where his death sentence was reinstated despite the trial judges familiarity with all the evidence and undoubtedly informed opinion that his man should not have a death sentence. A coup for the government which doesn't really surprise me as the 8th circuit is over Arkansas and is where my case is at and though all kinds of legal experts were almost positive I would get some action, should legally get some action on my last appeal, I got nothing. Which is pretty much a watermark indication of how this particular court behaves. They are notoriously right wing and don't give a second thought to these decisions in my opinion. He'll probably be here within two months.
Well it's supposed to start getting colder next week according to the radio. They also said that so far this year Indiana has gotten less that 1 inch of total accumulation in snow. The last time thats happened this time of year the total accumulation for the winter after today was 25 inches and that was over 20 years ago but hopefully, maybe, that means we're in for a real blizzard which would suit me just fine. David
got in a copy of an article on Timothy's execution on Friday and I was
able to read it today. it was a creepy almost minute by minute account
of the mans last hours on earth and I personally could've done without
reading it. The most simple things like, tossing before sleep, turning
the television off, eating a pint of ice cream were full of meaning and
truly thought provoking given the circumstances and it all left me a bit
chilled. Also
of note they called his execution project 'Elm Tree'. They said, by they
I mean prison administration, that this name came from a very old tree
that survived the blast that destroyed the Murrah building. I don't know
about that but calling what amounts to a legal lynching 'project Elm
Tree' seems appropriate to me. And
Happy Birthday Mom! I love you.
This
morning they came to get me early for shower call and instead of going
to the nearest shower I had to go downstairs because of a drainage
problem or something like that. I don't know, the guard told me but it
was painfully early so it was just blah blah, shower, blah blah, go
downstairs. So down the stairs I went. And
what did I see but our local Taliban receiving breakfast trays late for
some reason. Yes, they are in fact, still here. But I could also see why
David would think they are not. The video camera that sat outside on a
tripod for so long was gone. And I think they have shifted cells down
towards the end of the run making it hard to see from the door. Don't
know why the camera is gone but I suppose it's possible they installed
one on the ceiling like those out in the hallway which would eliminate
the need for the little thrown together tripod set up. I doubt they
lowered the security measures around those guys so am thinking this is
likely.
|